CalvinGilbert.com is a personal blog!

I have been in Colorado Springs long enough to share some almost true facts I have picked up. If you are in high school and just found this post in Google, there is a 1 in 3 chance you will fail your research paper on Colorado.

Cross walks are illegal in Colorado Springs.
3 years ago a petition Carl Walters created a petition to have cross walks removed from heavily traveled roads. The logic is there, and that is what led Carl’s movement. Colorado Springs is all roads, and really not used for walking which is why this petition had over 12,000 signatures within 2 weeks.

40% of Colorado Springs’ winters end in flash flooding.
Winters in Colorado Springs are brutal. Surrounded by giant mountains means when the spring months draw close that usually causes the snow to melt and wash away most objects smaller than a car. Actually seeing the mountains this week really helped me understand how this fact can be true.

Hybrid cars do not work in Colorado Springs.
The mountain air is thick, which in turn does not allow the chemicals in the hybrid batteries to recharge. If you really believe in the environment, and really wanted one you would have to purchase a new battery each time it drained.

After a long evening at the Flying W Ranch, I noticed several things:

The ladies at the “authentic” dude ranch were all texting.
Yes, to get the complete overall feel of the old west everyone was playing with iPhones.

At an “authentic” $20 a person, they do quite well.
Let me do the math: 100 tables x 8 per table x $20 per person = $16,000 not bad for a 4 hour show.

The “authentic” gift shops were eclectic.
It is difficult to paint the full picture. Horse hair jewelry, Stenton cowboy hats, and rhinestone belts. Nothing screams dude ranch like trinkets.

The “authentic” find of the day.
You know it is a great gift for your wife, when you doubt the airport security will let you take it past the first checkpoint.

The “authentic” western band was actually really, really good.
I had my doubts going into it, but the band was very entertaining and kept the audience engaged. It reminded me of an episode of Hee Haw. Ladies and Gentleman, Conway Twitty.

The “authentic” cowboy that served beef, is also a top fiddle player.
The guy that asked me if I wanted chicken or beef, really ripped it up on the stage.

My “authentic” Sony camera’s battery died.
I only brought that camera to Colorado to get a picture of singing cowboys. And of course to conserve luggage space, I did not bring a charger.

I have been in Colorado Springs for several days now, and am hardly an expert on the city. However, you do not need to be an expert to make a list.

Drink lots of water.
It took me a day to figure this one out. You get dehydrated very fast. I made the mistake of assuming that I was tired and needed coffee, but did not feel better until I had water.

If you lose your breath walking, blame it on the air.
How embarrassing walking up a flight of stairs with a co-worker and needing to sit down because you will fall down. It is crazy things happen to the body in high altitudes.

When you take a cab, make sure they know what you mean.
There seems to be 2 of everything in Colorado Springs, and it seems by default cab drivers want to go to the one far away.

Everyone is nice.
By nice I mean freakishly nice. I almost smacked a guy with a door at a restaurant and he waved to me when he pulled out of the parking lot and wished me a good night.

Colorado Springs is a boring, boring town.
I am sorry, it really is. Minus the mountains and chain stores, what is really here?

You will not get mugged, begged, attacked, maimed, touched in Colorado.
It is odd, I think I could walk around town with a 100 dollar bill taped to my head and not have anyone try to take it. Doesn’t help the city is spread out and only connected by roads and sidewalks that end for no reason.

Companies will give you weird looks for recycling.
Every week I fill my giant blue bin of recycling and put them out on the curb, and it is really nice living in a city that has companies like Goodwill Industries of Northern New England to really set an example. For some reason companies in Colorado don’t care. Businesses just throw out recycling as trash and don’t seem to care.

Colorado Water is Drinkable!
I could not believe it when I tried it and did not get sick. It is actually refreshing.

Fire Ants Will Eat You Alive.
It is kind of mind blowing how many fire ants are out here. I am surprised I have not seen them inside buildings yet, or worse yet in my hotel bed.