calvin gilbert

Before I begin, this does not mean I am hiring / looking for interns. This is usually the time I start getting internship inquiries for the internship position I haven’t posted. Digressing now.

My first resume probably had all 10 of these blunders. I was young. High School sure didn’t teach me how to correctly set one up, or what verbiage to use. No one ever taught me what fonts to use, or how many pages it should be. This guide will help new job seekers make their resume not look like all of the others.

1. Do not use Times New Roman. Times New Roman is the default font in Microsoft Word, which proves you lack creativity and probably are incapable of making decisions. In addition to Times, don’t use Comic Sans MS, Jokerman or any hand written font. If you feel that curly font is a reflection of your creativity, it really isn’t. If a potential employer cannot read about what you have done, they will not hire you.

2. No buzzwords. According to squawkfox, do not use buzzwords and phrases like: Responsible for, Experienced at, Excellent written communication skills. (Clearly, you don’t.), Team player or works well in large or small groups or Detail oriented.

Again, read squawfox for alternate phrases to use.

3. It better not be on cloud letterhead. Or have crayon borders, or a picture of the ocean in the background. Sure it will help it stand out, but if the goal is to help me find it faster to toss it, then mission accomplished. In the same respect:

4. Don’t print it on linen woven parchment paper… Or whatever the crap that stuff is made of. Look for a smooth finish paper, something thicker than 20lb and the whiter the better. Employers probably will not checking out the rad watermark in the paper, so leave that stuff for the law firms.

5. Do not include pimping myspace pages as real world experience… Customizing a myspace page is not a desirable work skill. Unless you are applying to customize a band myspace page, avoid this.

6. Using your awkward real email address… ladies_man69@pervertsunited.net is probably the best email address, but clearly not work appropriate. When applying for a job, create an email address specifically for your job searching needs. Use your real name preferably in this style: firstname_lastname@domain.com

7. Using Microsoft templates. Microsoft has some nice resume templates, the down side: everyone else uses them. In a stack of 100 resumes, 90% of them will look identical.

9. Follow instructions clearly. If an employer specifically requests to have a resume emailed in .pdf format, EMAIL IT IN .PDF FORMAT! If you are unsure what a file format is, look it up. Forcing a potential employer to download patches, plug-ins and programs to view your resume is quite the deterrent.

8. Printing it on anything but 8.5″ x 11″ sized paper. I have never seen a resume on 11″ x 17″, but if I did I would be unimpressed.

9. Being my friend. I am trying to fill a job, not find a drinking buddy. Make sure your resume stays professional, and avoids too many personal thoughts. Don’t add me to myspace, facebook or twitter to check and see if I received your resume.

10. Spell check and reread It is very easy to overlook spelling and grammatical errors, run a spell check or have a friend read over your resume. This is your first impression, so using proper language is a plus.

And yes, if you noticed I had two number nines you have a great eye for detail. If you did not, remind me to not ask you to read over my resume.

Did I miss anything? Let me know.